COURAGE

What is courage?  The dictionary defines courage as bravery, fortitude, will and intrepidity.  The ability to confront, fear, pain, risk/danger, uncertainty or intimidation.  After today, I am thinking they may want to add -  Taylor Davis.

What lies ahead? No one knows, our futures are uncertain.  When you are battling cancer, this statement becomes even more true.  Everything you do is different.  Perhaps it is because it might be the last time you are able to do something for a while.  Perhaps it is because you yourself are different.  You draw on your character and those around you to press forward.  To have the courage to do things that used to be normal.

Today Taylor went to sacrament meeting.  Something he hasn't been able to do in quite some time.  With his numbers dropping lower and lower, we aren't sure when he will be able to go again.  The doctor gave us permission to go if he would go before or after everyone else and if we would leave before everyone else and if Taylor would wear a medical mask.  He advised us to sit in the back and to try and stay away from little ones (more germs).  However, in our ward, most of the littles sit in the back.  So we thought it would  be better if we sat in the front.

We arrived about 20 minutes before the meeting.  We took the third pew from the front, behind the priesthood.  As we walked into the building, Taylor started to tense up.  He said he wasn't sure if he could do this.  I asked, "Why, are you not feeling well enough?"  His response was that he felt uncomfortable.  That his bald head and medical mask made him feel like a freak.  That everyone one would be starring.

Yet, he kept walking.  He took his seat and held his head in his hands.  It took much convincing to get him to sit up and not let it bother him.  That those around him knew his situation and didn't care.  But Taylor cared.  He felt out of place in his Father in Heaven's house.  But, only for a few mere moments.  Pretty soon he felt safe and secure. He knew he was where he should be.

Then "IT" happened.  It was our Ward Conference this week.  Taylor is the Bishops assistant and so his name was called and he was required to stand.  My heart sank.  I wondered if he would stand or would he sit and stay out of sight. He had just overcome the feeling of awkwardness and now he was on display for all to see.  As his name was read, Taylor stood, I noticed tears filled the eyes of many in the congregation.  Including our sweet bishop.  Taylor noticed this too.  He felt loved, he felt accepted, no matter what he looked like.

What an emotional thing.  I thought it was about all I could handle today.  Oh was I ever wrong.  After church Taylor asked to have his shaved head down to the bare skin.  The small amount he had left, was falling out in tiny, prickly pieces.  Shane and I lathered his head up with shaving cream and began the final removal.  It was heart wrenching.  We both kept looking at each other, trying to hold back the tears.  And there sat Taylor.  Patient, peaceful.   Just watching us.  What a brave guy.  No tears.  No feeling sorry for himself. 

Bless this boy for the courage he showed today.  And bless those who showed him the love he needed to enable him to be courageous.

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY

Every Wednesday the Home Health nurse visits our home.  She comes to take vitals, check on Taylor's condition and to draw his blood.  Sometimes we get the results that day, usually it is the next day.  Last week the results were pretty good and we were really encouraged.  This week not so much.

The GOOD - his red blood count is at a decent level.  Not great, but good.  His platelet count has gone up, which is good. 

The BAD - his white blood count is really low.

The UGLY - his ANC level is REALLY low.  If it gets much lower he won't be able to go out in public AT ALL.  Up to this point, we have had to be really careful.  Following strict guidelines, he could go to certain places, during certain times.  Some places required wearing a mask, some did not.  If it drops much lower, he won't be able to do that.  He will quarantined to the house.  Also, all visitors will have to wear masks.

The HIDEOUS - if he gets much lower, he won't be able to have his next chemo treatment on  Thursday.  We will have to wait until his numbers go up.  The lower number means more risk for infection, which his body can't handle right now.  An infection could be deadly.

"Taffy for Taylor"

We all love Taylor. Everything we do, we feel, and that we pray for comes down to that simple fact. And because we love him so much (in addition to the rest of the Davis family of course!) we spend a lot of time thinking about "what we can do"...

In a recent gathering of friends and neighbors the idea of "Taffy for Taylor" came up as a way of helping to raise funds for all the lovely medical bills starting to pile up on the Davis family's kitchen counter. Any one who knows Taylor, knows that he is spending time worrying about what this is "costing" his parents. (Bless his heart...and please note Jennifer's previous post about "who he is".)
In the coming months there will be other "events" we will notify everyone about such as a 5-K... but "Taffy for Taylor" will be happening next week! On Tuesday, March 1st, and Wednesday, March 2nd, we will be setting up a table just outside of the lunch room at HARVEST ELEMENTARY during the entire lunch period and will be selling the long skinny Laffy Taffy (2 for a $1) with all of the proceeds going directly to the family.

Jonah is REALLY excited! He will get to help, and I think this will make him feel like he can DO something too! (a BIG thanks to our principal for saying yes!!) Lets give the Davis family one less thing to worry about!!! We are so proud of you Taylor... your faith, your courage, your attitude... you make us all want to be better people! We love you Taylor!

A CUT ABOVE THE REST

Taylor and his brother snugging on the couch.

All I can say is - we have amazing friends and family! Even with such little notice, almost all of both mine and Shane's families came this evening to support Taylor. It was an amazing night!

I had asked a friend who has a salon in her home if we could come over and if she would shave Taylor and a few of his cousins heads. (I didn't think I would emotionally be able to do it. I was right.) She graciously said yes. Little did she know, that "WE" would be 37 people and she would be shaving 13 heads and giving one haircut. Seriously! I had no idea we would be that many when I asked her. I was thinking maybe four or five. Even when we lined up at the house before we left, there were seven planning on doing it.

(The group who planned to shave their heads with Taylor. Grandpa, Tanner, Jonah, Kolby, Uncle T.J., Taylor and Devan.)I had to make collages in order to show all the pictures we took. (Thanks for the photography help Steph!)

They are in the order in which they had their heads shaved. T.J. was first. Leave it to him to be the first to sacrifice. He is an amazing brother-in-law and Uncle and we love him dearly!

Taylor was next. He smiled and tried to make the best of it.It was a somber moment when Sherian started shaving. Cancer showed on the outside tonight.
I am so glad Sherian said she would do it. I just couldn't of. It was hard enough to watch. She made the best of it and made everyone laugh by shaving a different design on each person, before shaving it all off.

Taylor got the old man cut first.Even little miss had to look away to keep from crying.

What a strong boy!

The proud mama and the boy with the smile on his face and the tears behind his eyes.A picture is worth a thousand words.

Kolby was up next. He seemed to be the most excited one to have his head shaved.
Tanner and Jonah made a pact that if one of them would do it, the other one would.
Jonah has gone back and forth whether or not he would actually do it. I guess since Tanner did it, there was no turning back.
Shane's nephew Devan. He and Taylor aren't to far apart in age and love hanging out together.
I was over shampooing the hair off everyone and next thing I knew Shane was in the chair. Gee, I hope it grows back! Don't you think he looks like Mr. T with his mohawk? I pity da fool!
Next up and a big surprise - Colton. Uncle T.J. and Uncle Auby both wanted to help out with this shave!
Ari wasn't to happy about her dad shaving his head. Then once it was done, she said, "You look like you always do Dad." Kev wasn't feeling too good, so he wore a mask for the whole evening.
Boden gave in at the last minute and went for it. Poor guy, his Dad was teasing him all night about his weird shaped head. I think he looks great!
And here's where the tears started flowing again. I was over at the shampoo bowl and Kathy sat down in the chair. Sherian looked over at me several times and wasn't sure what to do. She asked me if she should really do it. My answer was, "She's the mother-in-law - Do what ever she tells you!" What an amazing grandma!
Of course, Grandpa Craig was not to be left out. More tears!
And just when we thought we were done, little miss says, "I just want a cut and a little color." With cute attitude of course! She and Jodi had been talking about doing Locks of Love today, but this afternoon Ari said she didn't want to. Then this evening she changed her mind. She had about 12 inches cut off. She spent the evening running back and forth through the house, flipping her hair around.
Here's what you get when you shave 13 heads and give one hair cut. Quite a pile of hair on the floor!
Thank you Thank you Sherian. For letting us invade. For going above and beyond. For sacrificing your evening with your family. For being such a good friend. You are so amazing and I am eternally grateful!

The final count, minus Gavin who had gone home.My bald boys!

Thank you to Granny, Grandpa Craig, Uncle Jason, Aunt Jan, Dev, Miranda, Seth, Shad, Hannah, Uncle T. J., Aunt Marisa, Boden, Bella, Emma, Brittany, Morrice, Morrisa, Colton, Shannon, Grandpa Joe, Auntie Julie, Kolby, Tanner, Uncle Auby, Aunt Jodi, Ari, Gavin, Dan, Stephanie, McKenna & Courtney for being there for us tonight. Your love made tonight so much easier. We love you so much!

IT'S JUST WHO HE IS

In case you weren't aware, Taylor's favorite treats are Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.  Since being diagnosed, friends and loved ones have kept a steady supply coming his way.  The other day Jonah was having a bad morning.  You can totally see where he's coming from can't you?  His brother has gotten to stay home from school for a month now and yet, being the mean mom that I am, I continue to make him go.  The nerve!

Anyway, Jonah was having a rough morning the other day.  Wanting to stay home and wondering why in the world I wouldn't let him.  Miserable and sad that he misses all the fun that Taylor and I are supposedly having while he is attending school.  While he is debating the issue with me, Taylor quietly steals away to his room and recovers a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup from his stash.  He secretly tucks it into Jonah's backpack pocket, for him to find at school.  I just sat back and observed.  Here is this incredible young man going through so much pain and he thinks to try and brighten his brother's day.

Yesterday was chemo.  Our second round of the first cycle.  Or vice versa, I'm still learning the proper lingo for all of this.  As we walk to and from the car, Taylor steps aside to let me walk in front of him.  Steps to the side where cars are coming so as to be in front of me should one of them go to far.

He says please and thank you to everyone who cares for him.  Never asks for anything from the nurses.  Only answers if they offer to help.  Sits quietly while he is injected with horrible drugs to kill this cancer.  Smiles and lets his mommy hold his hand and fawn over him.

When brought food and treats he sets aside a package of Oreo's.  Wanting to take them home to a friend who he knows loves them. Even while having chemo, he's thinking of someone else.   

They have a program in the Oncology department for the kids who frequent it, called Colors of Courage.  Granted, Taylor is much older than most of the kids who are seen there.  Patients are given beads of different styles and colors.  Each bead represents something they have gone through.  Port placement, biopsy, labs and such.  When they introduced the program to us, Taylor wasn't very interested in it.  Then all of the sudden he changed his mind.  Yesterday I found out why.  He plans to save all of the beads he earns and have a necklace made for his daughter one day.  If that doesn't pull at your heart strings!

These are the things that make Taylor - Taylor.  It's just who he is!

CHEMO - ROUND TWO

Round two of our battle against the beastly cancer! We hit it with the hard drugs today.

Check-in, weight, vitals and measurements. Taylor gained almost two pounds since last week. Hooray! He is almost back to his pre biopsy weight. Two bad most of it is in his cheeks!

Into a patient room. The nurse accessed his port and drew labs. He had decided to try the freeze spray rather than the numbing cream today for the accessing and he really liked it. He is such a clean kid, he didn't want to have to rub the cream on and have it on him all the way up to the hospital. So it looks like we may have purchased two tubes of the prescription cream for nothing. Oh well, if the other is more comfortable for him, it is a small sacrifice to make.

We met with Dr. Verma and then Dr. Barnett. They were both very surprised and happy at what a visible difference could be seen in Taylor's neck and spleen. The swelling in his spleen has reduced by about 50%.

He looked SO good this morning. His color was good. He felt good. He was smiley and just down right full of it. It was sad to have to do the chemo and take all that away.

These appointments are such a roller coaster ride. Weight - happy. Port Access and Labs - sad. Dr updates - happy. Chemo - sad.

The side effects and administration of the drugs is heart wrenching. But you do it, what choice do we have?

Taylor is so clam and laid-back about the whole thing. He just kicks back and sits there. Plays on his Ipod or listens to music.

 

Taylor did better than expected again today. Less nausea than last time, but more tired this time. He said he felt less nauseous when he was sitting up, so we stacked up several pillows when he went to bed.

I am telling you, this boy is AMAZING! Never one complaint. Dealing with everything like a trooper. I am just in awe. I don't know if I could do what he has done. I guess the slogan he chose for himself is true - Cancer fears me! He is kicking it's butt!

ROUGH NIGHT

Last night was a little rough.  Taylor woke up about 3 a.m. feeling really nauseous.  He also looked pretty pale.  No fever, so that is good.  We got him some of his nausea medication and some Sprite.  It took a little over an hour to get him to a place where he was comfortable enough to lie back down and try to go back to sleep.  Shane and I both sat with him and rubbed his back and comforted him. 

Sometime after 4 a.m. he fell asleep listening to his Ipod.  Music really soothes him and helps him relax.  I hope that it will continue to be a help throughout this journey.

It is so hard to see him so miserable and not to cry.  I waited to do that until I climbed back into my own bed.  I have to keep remembering that it could be worse.  He still hasn't thrown up and that is good. We are waiting for it, but hoping it won't happen.

He was a little better this morning, but still pretty nauseous and pale.  He did eat a good breakfast (accompanied by a literal handful of pills) and kept it down.  He has been working on adding some music to his Ipod and also added the movie he and his friends watched last night.  We will see what today brings! 

POST CHEMO

Taylor is doing surprisingly well today.  Still no vomiting.  I can hardly believe it! 

His Grandma and Grandpa Davis came to visit this afternoon.  His good friends Cody and Gavin came over this evening and they watched one of Taylor's favorite movies - Just Visiting.  I swear he is going to wear that movie out! 

He is looking a little pale and tired, but still better than expected. 

CHEMO

Taylor had his first chemo treatment today.  The whole appointment took about 6 hours.  The actual chemo about 2 hours 45 minutes.  Today's treatment consisted of four drugs.  Two which were given through his port and two which he will take orally.  One for a week and the other for two.

As always, Taylor was the perfect patient.  Never asking for anything and always saying thank you.  He is doing relatively well.  We made it home and through the rest of the evening without him throwing up.  He is doing much better than I could have ever imagined.

We received word as we were driving to the hospital that his bone marrow tests had come back negative.  This means that Taylor's cancer is a Stage IIB, not the possible IVB that was feared.  We are so relieved and know that this is an answer to the many prayers that have been offered in our behalf.