CHEMO - ROUND SIX, CYCLE TWO

THE END!

I was almost giddy this morning.  Excited to have chemotherapy behind us.  Four months and twenty five days (a.k.a. - 142 days) is a long time.  It's 20 days more than one-third of a year.  And at times it has felt longer than that.

Many days full of discouragement.  Watching my son lay in his bed feeling cruddy. Often when I would walk  past his room, I would find him on his knees next to his bed ... praying.

Chemo went exactly how we were told it would.  No infections, no major complications, no delays.  We have been lucky (a.k.a. - blessed)!   

I was so excited to hand out our thank you gifts that I could hardly wait.  Taylor was kind of shy and unsure about it.  But in the end he enjoyed it once he saw how happy it made the doctors and nurses.

Due to risk of infection, the oncology department has very strict rules about no siblings and only two adults with each patient.  However they agreed to allow family members to wait just outside the clinic to join in the celebration.

Checking in.  Weight, height and vitals.

Hopefully, his last port access.

This is Jessica.  She was Taylor's nurse for his very first chemo.  

How appropriate that she is again for his last.

We had hoped that our family would be there to share it with us.  But Colton couldn't get off work and Jonah just plain didn't want to come.  (The whole thing really scares him.)

Taylor was ready to bolt.

The nurses came clapping and singing.

The nurses presented this monstrous bear to Taylor!

Lots of hugs.

The tears were flowing.

So grateful to these amazing people!

Ring the bell Mr. Taylor ..you're done!

The smile of relief.

The bear is almost as big as Taylor!

Since they have been our main support during this trial, we invited the Floyd family help us celebrate Taylor's last treatment.  In the beginning, Stephanie offered to accompany us to Taylor's chemo treatments when Shane wasn't able to go.  It turned out that he was only able to attend three treatments, including today.  My cousin Leslie was able to come to one.  And Stephanie came with us to all of the others.  She has been a mother, a sister and a friend to me throughout this difficult experience. I can't tell you how grateful both Taylor and I have been for this.

We have shared many long hours with the Floyd's and the oncology staff during the past four plus months.  Thank you for all that you have done.  Chemotherapy - DONE, OVER, FINISHED, THE END... HOORAY!!!!!!

GOODBYE!

CHEMO - ROUND SIX, CYCLE ONE

 TAYLOR GIVING ME THE ONLY "ONE" MORE FINGER!

NO GUARANTEES

Remember the movie Tommy Boy?  Remember the quote about guarantees?

That's kind of how I felt about today.  Yah, sure we'll give your son chemo and radiation.  The effects may or may not be lasting.  They may or may not help, but hey, what the heck.  Don't worry about what it may or may not do.  Let's give it a try!

I didn't sleep well last night.  Maybe two hours tops.  And that's being generous.  Major Anxiety!

Chemo days seem to do that to me.  Not knowing how it is going to effect Taylor or how sick it is going to make him.  That never changes.

I was super emotional today.  Stephanie said she felt the same way.  For me, I tried to chalk it up to lack of sleep.  Or maybe the apprehension about being finished with chemo.  Finding out if it has worked or not.  My tears were near the surface most of the day.

Taylor has been experiencing shaking and numbness in his hands.  Pain, tingling and numbness in his legs and feet.  And it is scary.  When we talked to the doctors about it, they were concerned, but not overly concerned.  These are side effects of the chemo drug, Vincristine.  They may or may not be lasting.  Well as a mother, I am concerned.

Next up, we talked about scans and radiology.  Exciting to be moving onto the next phase of kicking cancer.  But again, no guarantees.  What if it is all for not?  What if he has to fight this all of his life? What if I lose my boy?

I have hope and I have faith.  But sometimes it is just scary!

Taylor handled the chemo much better than I expected today.  It was encouraging.  One more time.  Hopefully that's all!

FACE TO FACE

Today I printed out some pictures of Taylor. One which was taken in September. One which was taken last night. Laid side by side, it took my breath away. The difference is astonishing!

It's like when you haven't seen someone for a long time. You expect them to look the same. Especially children. Then when you see them, you can't believe how much they have changed. I felt like that today.

I guess living day in and day out with cancer, the changes don't seem as apparent to you. Then you look directly at them and they take your breath away.

Taylor is still trying to recover from last weeks chemo. He is incredibly tired. Still nauseated and his body aches. It's tough. I tried to get him to go the park with me for a little bit. (It was our city celebration -Saratoga Splash.) But he declined. I was trying to encourage him to do normal things. His response was "It's really hard to do normal things, when you don't feel normal Mom."

HARD TIMES

It seems like weeks since Thursday (chemo). When in actuality, it's hasn't even been a whole week. This round has been SO rough on Taylor. He is still fighting nausea and fatigue - every single day.

It's been hard to watch. I wish I could just take it away for him.

CHEMO #10- ROUND FIVE, CYCLE TWO

Taylor climbed into his bed for the night about an hour ago. It's been a long, hard day. His chemo appointment was at 9:30 a.m. It was almost 3:00 p.m. when it was finally over. His nurse was caring for another patient with some complications, so we did a lot of waiting. This treatment has been the worst thus far. Taylor was nauseous before they even started the chemo. And it only got worse. Just before they administered it, his chest began to hurt really badly and they had to check all of his vitals and make sure he was okay to proceed. His lab results showed that his hematocrit is pretty low. He also had to take the extra procarbizine that they had forgotten last week, today.

It has been hard to watch. Him suffering so tremendously and being able to do nothing to ease his discomfort.

It was just Taylor and I today. No Stephanie (poor girl was sick) or Shane (couldn't get off work two weeks in a row). We didn't talk much. He closed his eyes and tried to tune out everything that was going on. I rubbed his head and held his hand.

This afternoon and evening have been rough. He doesn't want to eat and hasn't been able to fall asleep. He is miserable and you can tell. His face is swollen and flushed and he has spent the evening hugging his barf bowl. I have never seen him this bad and I am a little frightened. I know he is strong, but he is weak. His body has been through a lot.

I am praying that we don't end up back at the hospital during the night.

"U" know what makes up for not being able to go to yearbook day?

Hanging out with a few University of Utah football players!

Taylor was feeling pretty down in the dumps about not being at school today. Not being able to say goodbye to another school year and friends. Not being able to hang out and sign yearbooks. Throw in a little nausea and he had a rough morning. Then something happened that turned his day around.

Our doorbell rang and there standing on our front porch were a group of pretty burly guys. Among them were Shaky Smithson, Matt Asiata and Christian Cox (University of Utah football players).

They came in and chatted with Taylor. Hung out with him in his room. And talked to him about his cancer.I think I liked Christian the best. He was very personable and shared with us that his grandfather had suffered from the same cancer Taylor does.

They were all very encouraging and uplifting. Taylor was smiling from ear to ear! A big shout out to Bro. Liffereth ( a BYU fan and Taylor's YM leader) who arranged the whole thing. I am amazed at how thoughtful the people in Taylor's life are.  Especially the men!