CHEMO - ROUND SIX, CYCLE ONE

 TAYLOR GIVING ME THE ONLY "ONE" MORE FINGER!

NO GUARANTEES

Remember the movie Tommy Boy?  Remember the quote about guarantees?

That's kind of how I felt about today.  Yah, sure we'll give your son chemo and radiation.  The effects may or may not be lasting.  They may or may not help, but hey, what the heck.  Don't worry about what it may or may not do.  Let's give it a try!

I didn't sleep well last night.  Maybe two hours tops.  And that's being generous.  Major Anxiety!

Chemo days seem to do that to me.  Not knowing how it is going to effect Taylor or how sick it is going to make him.  That never changes.

I was super emotional today.  Stephanie said she felt the same way.  For me, I tried to chalk it up to lack of sleep.  Or maybe the apprehension about being finished with chemo.  Finding out if it has worked or not.  My tears were near the surface most of the day.

Taylor has been experiencing shaking and numbness in his hands.  Pain, tingling and numbness in his legs and feet.  And it is scary.  When we talked to the doctors about it, they were concerned, but not overly concerned.  These are side effects of the chemo drug, Vincristine.  They may or may not be lasting.  Well as a mother, I am concerned.

Next up, we talked about scans and radiology.  Exciting to be moving onto the next phase of kicking cancer.  But again, no guarantees.  What if it is all for not?  What if he has to fight this all of his life? What if I lose my boy?

I have hope and I have faith.  But sometimes it is just scary!

Taylor handled the chemo much better than I expected today.  It was encouraging.  One more time.  Hopefully that's all!