COURAGE

What is courage?  The dictionary defines courage as bravery, fortitude, will and intrepidity.  The ability to confront, fear, pain, risk/danger, uncertainty or intimidation.  After today, I am thinking they may want to add -  Taylor Davis.

What lies ahead? No one knows, our futures are uncertain.  When you are battling cancer, this statement becomes even more true.  Everything you do is different.  Perhaps it is because it might be the last time you are able to do something for a while.  Perhaps it is because you yourself are different.  You draw on your character and those around you to press forward.  To have the courage to do things that used to be normal.

Today Taylor went to sacrament meeting.  Something he hasn't been able to do in quite some time.  With his numbers dropping lower and lower, we aren't sure when he will be able to go again.  The doctor gave us permission to go if he would go before or after everyone else and if we would leave before everyone else and if Taylor would wear a medical mask.  He advised us to sit in the back and to try and stay away from little ones (more germs).  However, in our ward, most of the littles sit in the back.  So we thought it would  be better if we sat in the front.

We arrived about 20 minutes before the meeting.  We took the third pew from the front, behind the priesthood.  As we walked into the building, Taylor started to tense up.  He said he wasn't sure if he could do this.  I asked, "Why, are you not feeling well enough?"  His response was that he felt uncomfortable.  That his bald head and medical mask made him feel like a freak.  That everyone one would be starring.

Yet, he kept walking.  He took his seat and held his head in his hands.  It took much convincing to get him to sit up and not let it bother him.  That those around him knew his situation and didn't care.  But Taylor cared.  He felt out of place in his Father in Heaven's house.  But, only for a few mere moments.  Pretty soon he felt safe and secure. He knew he was where he should be.

Then "IT" happened.  It was our Ward Conference this week.  Taylor is the Bishops assistant and so his name was called and he was required to stand.  My heart sank.  I wondered if he would stand or would he sit and stay out of sight. He had just overcome the feeling of awkwardness and now he was on display for all to see.  As his name was read, Taylor stood, I noticed tears filled the eyes of many in the congregation.  Including our sweet bishop.  Taylor noticed this too.  He felt loved, he felt accepted, no matter what he looked like.

What an emotional thing.  I thought it was about all I could handle today.  Oh was I ever wrong.  After church Taylor asked to have his shaved head down to the bare skin.  The small amount he had left, was falling out in tiny, prickly pieces.  Shane and I lathered his head up with shaving cream and began the final removal.  It was heart wrenching.  We both kept looking at each other, trying to hold back the tears.  And there sat Taylor.  Patient, peaceful.   Just watching us.  What a brave guy.  No tears.  No feeling sorry for himself. 

Bless this boy for the courage he showed today.  And bless those who showed him the love he needed to enable him to be courageous.